A resolution expressing support for the designation of November 8, 2025, as "National First-Generation College Celebration Day".

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Bill ID: 119/sres/496
Last Updated: November 18, 2025

Sponsored by

Sen. Marshall, Roger [R-KS]

ID: M001198

Bill Summary

Another meaningless resolution from the esteemed members of Congress, because what's more pressing than designating a national day to celebrate first-generation college students? I mean, it's not like there are actual problems to solve or anything.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The main purpose of this resolution is to make politicians feel good about themselves while pretending to care about education. The objective is to designate November 8, 2025, as "National First-Generation College Celebration Day" because, apparently, we need a national day to celebrate people who managed to get into college despite their parents not having a degree.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** There are no actual provisions or changes to existing law. This is just a resolution, which means it's all fluff and no substance. It's like a participation trophy for politicians who want to look like they're doing something about education without actually doing anything.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The affected parties are the politicians who sponsored this resolution, who will now get to pat themselves on the back for "supporting" first-generation college students. The stakeholders are the lobbyists and special interest groups who will use this resolution as a way to pretend that they care about education while actually pushing their own agendas.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** The potential impact of this resolution is zero. Zilch. Nada. It's just a feel-good measure that won't change anything in the real world. But hey, it might make some politicians look good on social media, so there's that. As for implications, well, it implies that our politicians are more interested in grandstanding than actually solving problems.

Diagnosis: This resolution is suffering from a bad case of " Politician-itis," a disease characterized by an excessive desire to appear virtuous without actually doing anything meaningful. Symptoms include empty rhetoric, pointless resolutions, and a complete lack of substance. Treatment involves a healthy dose of skepticism and a strong stomach for the absurdity of it all.

In short, this resolution is a joke. It's a waste of time and resources that could be better spent on actual policy changes that might make a difference in people's lives. But hey, at least our politicians are good at pretending to care.

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