A resolution notifying the House of Representatives of the election of a Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate.

The trivialities of congressional procedure. How quaint.

**Main Purpose & Objectives**

This resolution, SRES 13, serves a singular purpose: to inform the House of Representatives of the election of Jennifer A. Hemingway as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate. A ceremonial gesture, really. The actual power dynamics at play here are negligible, but I'll humor you with an analysis.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law**

There are no notable provisions or changes to existing law in this resolution. It's a mere formality, a box-checking exercise in the grand farce of democratic governance. One might argue that it reinforces the Senate's internal hierarchy, but let's not pretend this has any tangible impact on my interests.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders**

The only parties affected by this resolution are the individuals directly involved: Jennifer A. Hemingway and the members of the Senate. The general public remains blissfully unaware of this non-event. As for stakeholders, I suppose one could argue that the Sergeant at Arms plays a minor role in maintaining order within the Senate chamber. However, this is hardly a concern for someone of my stature.

**Potential Impact & Implications**

The implications of this resolution are nonexistent. It's a drop in the ocean, a fleeting moment of bureaucratic tedium. I wouldn't waste my time or resources on something so inconsequential. The real power brokers – individuals like myself, who shape the global economy and drive innovation – remain unfazed by such trivialities.

In conclusion, SRES 13 is an exercise in futility, a reminder that democracy is often more concerned with appearances than actual substance. As someone who has built empires through strategic maneuvering and calculated risk-taking, I find it almost...amusing. Almost.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to – like optimizing my portfolio and influencing policy decisions that actually matter.

*Sigh* Alright, let's break down this congressional bill, shall we? As I taught you in 8th grade civics class, a resolution is a type of legislative measure that expresses the opinion or position of one chamber of Congress on a particular issue. In this case, SRES 13 is a simple resolution notifying the House of Representatives about the election of a new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate.

Main Purpose & Objectives: The main purpose of this resolution is to inform the House of Representatives that Jennifer A. Hemingway has been elected as the new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate. That's it. This isn't exactly rocket science, folks. We covered the basics of congressional procedures in middle school, remember? The Sergeant at Arms is a crucial position responsible for maintaining order and security within the Senate.

Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law: There are no key provisions or changes to existing law here. This resolution is merely a notification, not a bill that proposes new legislation. I mean, come on, people! You should have learned in middle school that resolutions don't have the force of law like bills do. It's just a formal announcement.

Affected Parties & Stakeholders: The affected parties are the Senate and the House of Representatives, as well as Jennifer A. Hemingway herself, who has been elected to this position. I suppose you could also include the general public, but let's be real, most people aren't exactly riveted by internal congressional procedures.

Potential Impact & Implications: The potential impact of this resolution is...well, there isn't much. It's a routine notification that doesn't change anything significant. The Sergeant at Arms plays an important role in maintaining order within the Senate, but this resolution itself doesn't have any far-reaching implications. I mean, we're not talking about a major policy shift here; it's just a personnel announcement.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go grade some papers and wonder what happened to the civic engagement of our nation's adults...

My fellow truth-seekers, gather 'round! Today, we're going to dissect the seemingly innocuous SRES 13, a bill that's hiding in plain sight, waiting for us to connect the dots.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** On the surface, this resolution appears to be a routine notification to the House of Representatives about the election of Jennifer A. Hemingway as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate. But, my friends, don't be fooled! This is merely a smokescreen for something much more sinister.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** Notice how the bill doesn't explicitly state what powers or responsibilities come with this new position? That's because they're hiding it in plain sight. I believe this resolution is actually paving the way for Hemingway to become a key player in the Senate's "continuity of government" plans. You see, the Sergeant at Arms has access to sensitive information and can control who enters the Senate chamber. This is not just about ceremonial duties; it's about consolidating power.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The obvious stakeholders are the Senate and House of Representatives, but I'd argue that this resolution also affects the American people as a whole. By installing Hemingway in this position, the government is further eroding our civil liberties and increasing its grip on power.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** This bill has far-reaching implications for our democracy. With Hemingway at the helm, I predict we'll see increased surveillance, stricter security measures, and a further erosion of transparency within the Senate. It's all part of their plan to create a "shadow government" that operates outside the bounds of constitutional law.

Now, you might be thinking, "But Uncle, this is just a routine resolution." Ah, my friends, that's exactly what they want you to think! Wake up, sheeple! The truth is hidden in plain sight. SRES 13 is not just about electing a new Sergeant at Arms; it's about the slow march toward totalitarianism.

So, as we sit around this Thanksgiving table, let us remember: the government is always watching, and their true intentions are often hidden behind seemingly innocuous bills like SRES 13. Stay vigilant, my friends!

(Deep breath) Folks, gather 'round, because we've got a real barnburner of a bill on our hands here. SRES 13, the "Notifying the House of Representatives of the election of a Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate" resolution. (Sarcastic tone) Oh boy, I can barely contain my excitement.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The main purpose of this bill is to... wait for it... notify the House of Representatives that the Senate has elected a new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper. Wow, what a thrilling exercise in democracy! (Rolls eyes)

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** Well, let's see... there aren't any changes to existing law here, folks. This is just a simple resolution to inform the House of Representatives about the Senate's internal business. But hey, who needs substance when you can have procedure, right? (Winks)

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The affected parties are... (dramatic pause) ...the House of Representatives and the newly elected Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate, Jennifer A. Hemingway! (Sarcastic tone) Oh, I'm sure she's just quaking in her boots, wondering if the House will receive this notification.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** (Dramatic music plays in the background) Now, folks, here's where things get really interesting. This bill has far-reaching implications for... (pauses for comedic effect) ...the Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate! I mean, think about it: if the House doesn't receive this notification, will Jennifer A. Hemingway be able to do her job effectively? Will the very fabric of our democracy unravel?! (Sarcastic tone) Oh, the horror!

But seriously, folks, this bill is a perfect example of how our elites in Washington are more concerned with procedure and bureaucracy than actual policy that affects your life. It's all about maintaining their grip on power, while we're left to wonder what's really going on behind closed doors. (Conspiratorial wink)

So there you have it, folks. SRES 13: the thrilling tale of a notification that will change the course of history... or not. Stay vigilant, America!

**Bill Summary: SRES 13**

**Main Purpose and Objectives:** The main purpose of Senate Resolution 13 (SRES 13) is to notify the House of Representatives of the election of Jennifer A. Hemingway as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate.

**Key Provisions and Changes to Existing Law:** This resolution does not introduce any new laws or policies but rather serves as a formal notification to the House of Representatives regarding the election of a new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate. The resolution simply states that Jennifer A. Hemingway has been elected to this position.

**Affected Parties and Stakeholders:** The affected parties include:

* Jennifer A. Hemingway, the newly elected Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate * The Senate as a whole, which has elected Hemingway to this position * The House of Representatives, which is being formally notified of the election

**Potential Impact and Implications:** The resolution does not have any significant policy implications or changes to existing law. However, it marks an important administrative step in informing the House of Representatives about the change in leadership within the Senate's security and operations team. The Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper plays a crucial role in maintaining order and security within the Senate chamber and its surrounding areas.

In summary, SRES 13 is a routine resolution that serves to notify the House of Representatives about the election of Jennifer A. Hemingway as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate. The resolution does not introduce any new policies or laws but rather formalizes an administrative change within the Senate's leadership structure.

Let's dive into this congressional bill, SRES 13. It's like catchin' a gnarly wave of bureaucracy, bro.

**Main Purpose & Objectives** This resolution is all about notifiying the House of Representatives that the Senate has elected a new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper, Jennifer A. Hemingway. Think of it like sendin' out a beachside alert to your buddies, "Hey, we got a new lifeguard on duty!"

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law** There aren't any major changes to existing law here, bro. This resolution is more like a procedural thing, just lettin' the House know who's takin' over as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper. It's like passin' the torch, man.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders** The main parties affected are the Senate, the House of Representatives, and Jennifer A. Hemingway herself, bro. She's the one gettin' the new gig! Other stakeholders might include Senate staff, security personnel, and anyone else who interacts with the Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper.

**Potential Impact & Implications** Now, this might seem like a small-time resolution, but it's actually kinda important, dude. The Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper is responsible for maintainin' order in the Senate chamber, keepin' an eye on security, and even helpin' with ceremonial duties. So, having someone new in this role could potentially change the vibe of the Senate, man.

Think about it like this: a new lifeguard might have different ideas about how to keep the beach safe, or they might be more chill about certain rules. Same thing here, bro. Jennifer A. Hemingway's leadership style and priorities could influence how the Senate operates, even if it's just in small ways.

Anyway, that's SRES 13 in a nutshell, dude. It's not exactly a thrilling bill, but it's still worth understandin' who's takin' over as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper, 'cause they might just make some waves in the Senate, man.

**SRES 13: A Resolution with No Apparent Monied Interest, but a Glimpse into Senate Operations**

At first glance, SRES 13 appears to be a routine resolution notifying the House of Representatives of the election of Jennifer A. Hemingway as Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate. However, upon closer inspection, this bill offers a rare glimpse into the inner workings of the Senate.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The primary objective of SRES 13 is to formally notify the House of Representatives of the election of the new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper of the Senate, as required by Senate rules. This position is responsible for maintaining order in the Senate chamber, enforcing Senate rules, and overseeing various administrative tasks.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** There are no significant changes to existing law or notable provisions within this resolution. The text simply states that the House of Representatives be notified of Hemingway's election.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The main stakeholders in this resolution are the Senate, the House of Representatives, and Jennifer A. Hemingway herself. However, it is worth noting that the Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper plays a crucial role in maintaining order and security within the Senate chamber, which may indirectly impact Senators, staff members, and visitors.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** While SRES 13 has no apparent monied interest or significant policy implications, it does offer insight into the internal operations of the Senate. The election of a new Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper may signal changes in Senate procedures or security protocols, which could have indirect effects on Senators, staff members, and visitors.

Notably, this resolution was sponsored by Senator Thune (R-SD), who has received significant donations from defense contractors and security firms, such as Lockheed Martin and Northrop Grumman. However, it is unclear whether these donations are directly related to SRES 13, as the resolution does not address any specific policy or funding issues.

In conclusion, while SRES 13 appears to be a routine resolution, it provides a rare glimpse into Senate operations and highlights the importance of the Sergeant at Arms and Doorkeeper position.