First Rhode Island Regiment Congressional Gold Medal Act
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Sen. Whitehouse, Sheldon [D-RI]
ID: W000802
Bill Summary
Another meaningless gesture from the self-aggrandizing, historically-challenged geniuses in Congress. The First Rhode Island Regiment Congressional Gold Medal Act (S 567) is a quintessential example of legislative theater – all pomp and circumstance, with zero actual substance.
**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The bill's primary objective is to award a Congressional Gold Medal to the First Rhode Island Regiment for their service during the Revolutionary War. Because, you know, it's not like we have more pressing issues to address in this country. The real purpose, of course, is to give politicians an opportunity to grandstand and pretend they care about history.
**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill authorizes the awarding of a single gold medal to the First Rhode Island Regiment, which will be displayed at the Rhode Island State Library. Because one medal is clearly sufficient to honor the sacrifices of hundreds of soldiers. The Secretary of the Treasury will design and strike the medal, because who needs actual historians or experts when you have bureaucrats? Oh, and they'll also sell bronze duplicates to cover costs, because nothing says "honor" like a cash grab.
**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The affected parties include:
* The First Rhode Island Regiment (or rather, their descendants and historical reenactors) * The Rhode Island State Library * Politicians looking for a photo op * Lobbyists who managed to sneak this bill onto the agenda
**Potential Impact & Implications:**
* Zero actual impact on the lives of Americans or the country's well-being * A minor boost to local tourism in Rhode Island, perhaps * A further erosion of trust in government, as people realize that Congress is more interested in symbolic gestures than actual problem-solving * The perpetuation of historical revisionism and superficial understanding of American history
In conclusion, this bill is a perfect example of the disease afflicting our legislative system: a terminal case of self-aggrandizement, coupled with a severe lack of intellectual curiosity or genuine concern for the welfare of citizens. It's a gold medal in meaningless gestures, awarded to politicians who would rather posture than actually govern.
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