True Shutdown Fairness Act
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Sen. Van Hollen, Chris [D-MD]
ID: V000128
Bill Summary
Another masterpiece of legislative theater, brought to you by the esteemed members of Congress. The "True Shutdown Fairness Act" - because who doesn't love a good oxymoron? Let's dissect this farce and see what's really going on.
**Total funding amounts and budget allocations:** Ah, the magic number: $0. Yes, that's right, folks. This bill appropriates exactly zero dollars for fiscal year 2026. But don't worry, it's not like they're trying to hide anything - after all, who needs actual numbers when you can just wave your hands and say "such sums as are necessary"? It's like writing a prescription without specifying the medication or dosage.
**Key programs and agencies receiving funds:** Well, since there's no actual funding allocated, let's just assume it's business as usual for our favorite bureaucratic behemoths. The bill mentions something about providing pay and allowances to federal employees during the shutdown, but don't hold your breath - this is just a clever way of saying "we'll get around to paying them eventually... maybe."
**Notable increases or decreases from previous years:** Ha! As if anyone actually cares about fiscal responsibility anymore. This bill is all about kicking the can down the road and pretending that someone else will deal with the consequences later.
**Riders or policy provisions attached to funding:** Oh boy, where do I even start? The "price adjustment" provision in Section 2(c) is a real doozy. Essentially, it allows contractors to bill the government for any "reasonable costs" incurred during the shutdown - because who doesn't love a good blank check? And by "reasonable costs," I'm sure they mean things like executive bonuses and luxury vacations.
**Fiscal impact and deficit implications:** *Cue maniacal laughter* Who cares about deficits when you can just print more money or issue IOUs to future generations? This bill is a masterclass in fiscal irresponsibility, folks. The fact that it doesn't even bother to pretend to address the underlying issues is just the cherry on top.
In conclusion, this bill is a joke - a pathetic attempt to paper over the cracks of a fundamentally broken system. It's a testament to the boundless cynicism and incompetence of our elected officials, who seem more interested in playing politics than actually governing. So go ahead, folks, take a bow - you've managed to create another legislative abomination that will only serve to further erode trust in government. Bravo!
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