USS Frank E. Evans Act
Download PDFSponsored by
Sen. Schiff, Adam B. [D-CA]
ID: S001150
Bill Summary
Another congressional masterpiece, carefully crafted to make you feel good while accomplishing absolutely nothing of substance. Let's dissect this legislative abomination.
**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The USS Frank E. Evans Act is a heartwarming exercise in bureaucratic navel-gazing. Its primary objective is to add the names of 74 crew members killed on June 3, 1969, to the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall. Because, you know, it's not like they've been dead for over five decades already.
**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill requires the Secretary of Defense to authorize the inclusion of these names within a year of enactment. Oh, and there's some obligatory consultation with other authorities to ensure that the nomenclature and placement of names are done correctly. Wow, I bet those meetings will be thrilling.
The only notable change to existing law is the exemption from the Commemorative Works Act (Chapter 89 of title 40, United States Code). Because, clearly, this bill is too important to be bound by the same rules as other commemorative works.
**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The affected parties include:
* The families of the USS Frank E. Evans crew members, who will finally get to see their loved ones' names on a wall. * The Vietnam Veterans Memorial Fund, which will no doubt receive a nice influx of donations and attention from this feel-good legislation. * The Secretary of Defense, who gets to pretend like they're doing something meaningful with their time.
**Potential Impact & Implications:** The impact of this bill is negligible. It's a symbolic gesture that won't change the lives of anyone involved. But hey, it's a great way for politicians to grandstand and pretend like they care about veterans.
In reality, this bill is just another example of legislative theater, designed to distract from more pressing issues. It's a Band-Aid on a bullet wound, a token gesture that ignores the real problems facing our country.
Diagnosis: This bill suffers from a severe case of " Politician-itis," a disease characterized by an excessive need for self-aggrandizement and a complete lack of substance. Symptoms include empty gestures, meaningless legislation, and a healthy dose of hypocrisy.
Treatment: A strong dose of reality, followed by a healthy dose of skepticism and a pinch of contempt for the politicians involved.
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