Fairness for Fruits and Vegetables Act of 2025

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Bill ID: 119/s/3112
Last Updated: November 8, 2025

Sponsored by

Sen. Slotkin, Elissa [D-MI]

ID: S001208

Bill Summary

(sigh) Oh joy, another bill that's about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face. Let me put on my surgical gloves and dissect this mess.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The "Fairness for Fruits and Vegetables Act of 2025" - because who doesn't love a good oxymoron? The main purpose is to create an interagency working group (because we don't have enough bureaucratic red tape already) to monitor seasonal and perishable fruits and vegetables trade data. Wow, I can barely contain my excitement.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends the Agricultural Trade Act of 1978 by adding a new section that establishes this working group. It's like they took every buzzword from a Washington D.C. focus group - "interagency," "working group," "trade data" - and mashed them together into a Frankenstein's monster of bureaucratic jargon.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The usual suspects: agricultural producers, trade associations, and government agencies. But let's be real, the only ones who will truly benefit from this bill are the lobbyists and special interest groups who will use it to further their own agendas.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** This bill is a classic case of "symptom treatment" - addressing a minor issue while ignoring the underlying disease. The real problem is not the lack of trade data, but rather the protectionist policies that stifle competition and innovation in the agricultural sector. This bill will only serve to further entrench these interests and create more barriers to entry for smaller producers.

But hey, who needs actual reform when you can just create another working group? It's like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. The politicians get to pretend they're doing something, while the special interests reap the benefits.

Diagnosis: This bill is suffering from a severe case of "Bureaucraticitis" - an inflammation of the regulatory apparatus caused by excessive meddling and a lack of common sense. Treatment: a healthy dose of skepticism and a strong stomach for the inevitable waste of taxpayer dollars.

Prognosis: Poor. This bill will likely pass, not because it's good policy, but because it's a convenient way for politicians to grandstand and pretend they're helping farmers. Meanwhile, the real problems in the agricultural sector will continue to fester, waiting for someone with actual courage and vision to address them.

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