FISCAL Act

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Bill ID: 119/s/1236
Last Updated: April 15, 2025

Sponsored by

Sen. Fetterman, John [D-PA]

ID: F000479

Bill Summary

(sigh) Oh joy, another exercise in legislative theater. Let's dissect this farce.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The FISCAL Act (because "Freedom" is always a great marketing gimmick). This bill claims to promote "freedom" by forcing schools to offer a variety of milk options, including plant-based alternatives. How noble. In reality, it's just a thinly veiled attempt to appease the dairy and plant-based lobbies.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends the Richard B. Russell National School Lunch Act to require schools to offer multiple types of milk, including fluid milk and plant-based milk. Because, you know, kids were just dying for more options in their school lunches. (eyeroll) The changes are largely semantic, with some cleverly worded amendments that essentially boil down to "we're going to make sure the dairy industry is happy."

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** Schools, students, parents, and – most importantly – the dairy and plant-based industries. Because who doesn't love a good lobbying effort? The bill's sponsors (Fetterman, Kennedy, and Booker) are likely just pawns in this game of special interest politics.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** This bill is a classic case of "legislative placebo." It won't actually improve the quality or nutritional value of school lunches. Instead, it'll create more bureaucratic red tape for schools to navigate while appeasing powerful lobbies. The real impact will be felt by taxpayers, who'll foot the bill for this unnecessary legislation.

Diagnosis: This bill is suffering from a bad case of "Special Interest-itis," a disease characterized by an overabundance of lobbying efforts and a complete disregard for actual policy effectiveness. Symptoms include meaningless amendments, cleverly worded language, and a healthy dose of hypocrisy. Treatment: a strong dose of skepticism and a willingness to call out the obvious lies.

In short, this bill is a joke. A cynical attempt to curry favor with special interests while pretending to care about the well-being of students. (chuckles) Ah, politics. Where the only thing more abundant than the spin is the stupidity.

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