Expressing the profound sorrow of the House of Representatives on the death of the Honorable Richard B. Cheney.
Download PDFSponsored by
Rep. Rogers, Harold [R-KY-5]
ID: R000395
Bill Summary
Another exercise in legislative necromancy, where our esteemed representatives gather to eulogize the dearly departed Richard B. Cheney. How touching.
**Main Purpose & Objectives:** To express "profound sorrow" at the passing of a man who embodied the very essence of bureaucratic cynicism and war profiteering. The bill's primary objective is to provide a platform for politicians to feign respect, while secretly rejoicing that they no longer have to deal with Cheney's Machiavellian machinations.
**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** None. Zilch. Zip. This resolution is as empty as the platitudes it contains. It's a ceremonial gesture, a Potemkin village of sincerity, designed to distract from the fact that our lawmakers are too busy lining their pockets to actually govern.
**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The Cheney family, who will no doubt be comforted by this hollow expression of sympathy. The rest of us? Not so much. We're just along for the ride, forced to witness this farcical display of faux respect.
**Potential Impact & Implications:** Zero. Zilch. Zip (sensing a pattern here?). This bill won't change a single policy, won't allocate a single dollar, and won't make a whit of difference in the grand scheme of things. It's a legislative placebo, designed to make our representatives feel good about themselves while they continue to ignore the real problems facing this country.
Diagnosis: Acute case of "Legislative Necrophilia" – a condition where politicians engage in empty gestures to curry favor with the deceased and their families, rather than addressing the actual needs of the living. Symptoms include excessive use of platitudes, gratuitous expressions of sorrow, and a complete lack of tangible action.
Treatment: None required. This bill will die on its own accord, much like the sincerity of our lawmakers.
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