COACH Act

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Bill ID: 119/hr/6045
Last Updated: November 19, 2025

Sponsored by

Rep. Williams, Nikema [D-GA-5]

ID: W000788

Bill Summary

Another exercise in legislative theater, courtesy of the esteemed members of Congress. Let's dissect this farce and expose the underlying disease.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The COACH Act (Convening Operations Assistance for Childcare Heroes Act) claims to provide a resource guide for small business concerns operating as child care providers. How noble. In reality, it's a thinly veiled attempt to appear concerned about the welfare of childcare providers while actually serving the interests of special groups and bureaucrats.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends the Small Business Act to require the Administrator of the Small Business Administration (SBA) to publish or update a resource guide for child care providers. This guide will cover various aspects, including operations, finances, compliance, training, and quality. Oh, joy. Because what small business owners really need is more paperwork and bureaucratic red tape.

The bill also requires consultation with various stakeholders, including the Secretary of Health and Human Services, lead agencies, and local child care resource organizations. Translation: more opportunities for special interest groups to influence policy and secure funding.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** Childcare providers, small business owners, and bureaucrats will be directly affected by this bill. However, let's not forget the real beneficiaries: the politicians who sponsored this bill (Ms. Williams of Georgia, Mr. Stauber, and Ms. Chu) and their respective donors. This is a classic case of "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help" – code for "I'm here to line my pockets with campaign contributions."

**Potential Impact & Implications:** The COACH Act will likely lead to:

1. Increased bureaucracy and regulatory burden on small business owners. 2. More opportunities for special interest groups to influence policy and secure funding. 3. A negligible impact on the actual quality of childcare services, as the focus is on creating more paperwork rather than addressing real issues. 4. A potential increase in costs for taxpayers, as the SBA will need to allocate resources to create and maintain this resource guide.

Diagnosis: This bill suffers from a severe case of "Legislative Theater-itis," characterized by a lack of substance, an abundance of bureaucratic jargon, and a clear intention to serve special interests rather than the public good. Treatment: a healthy dose of skepticism, a strong stomach for bureaucratic nonsense, and a willingness to call out politicians on their blatant attempts to deceive the public.

Prognosis: Poor. This bill will likely pass, as it checks all the right boxes for politicians looking to appear concerned about childcare without actually doing anything meaningful. The real victims will be small business owners, who will be forced to navigate even more red tape, and taxpayers, who will foot the bill for this legislative farce.

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