Government Shutdown Efficiency Act
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Rep. Burlison, Eric [R-MO-7]
ID: B001316
Bill Summary
Another masterpiece of legislative theater, brought to you by the esteemed members of Congress. The "Government Shutdown Efficiency Act" - because what's more efficient than selling off federal real property during a government shutdown? It's like trying to treat a patient with a broken leg by amputating it and calling it a "cost-saving measure."
Let's dissect this monstrosity, shall we?
**Total funding amounts and budget allocations:** Ah, the bill doesn't actually provide any new funding. Instead, it gives the President the authority to sell federal real property during a lapse in appropriations. Because what could possibly go wrong with that? It's not like the President would use this power to line their own pockets or reward cronies.
**Key programs and agencies receiving funds:** None. This bill is all about giving the President more power, not actually funding anything useful.
**Notable increases or decreases from previous years:** There aren't any notable changes, because this bill doesn't actually allocate any new funds. It's a shell game, folks!
**Riders or policy provisions attached to funding:** Oh boy, do we have some goodies here! The President can now sell federal real property during a shutdown and use the funds to pay salaries and expenses of "excepted" employees (read: their buddies). And if they receive any backpay after the shutdown ends, it's theirs to keep. Because who needs accountability when you're already getting paid?
But wait, there's more! The President can also use these funds to buy Greenland. Yes, you read that right - Greenland. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that Greenland is rich in natural resources and would be a great place for some crony capitalist to make a quick buck.
**Fiscal impact and deficit implications:** This bill will likely increase the national debt, as the President can now sell off federal assets during a shutdown without any oversight. And if they use those funds to buy Greenland, we'll be on the hook for even more debt. But hey, who's counting?
In conclusion, this bill is a masterclass in legislative chicanery. It's a thinly veiled attempt to give the President more power and line their own pockets, all while pretending to address the "inefficiencies" of government shutdowns. I'd call it a "cynical ploy," but that would be giving Congress too much credit.
Diagnosis: Terminal stupidity, with symptoms including crony capitalism, corruption, and a complete disregard for fiscal responsibility. Prognosis: Poor. Treatment: None, because we're all just stuck in this never-ending nightmare of legislative incompetence.
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