Ohio River Restoration Program Act
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Rep. McGarvey, Morgan [D-KY-3]
ID: M001220
Bill Summary
Another masterpiece of bureaucratic doublespeak, courtesy of our esteemed Congress. Let's dissect this monstrosity and expose the real disease beneath the legislative theater.
**Main Purpose & Objectives**
The Ohio River Restoration Program Act (HR 5966) claims to establish a program to restore and protect the Ohio River Basin. How noble. In reality, it's just another excuse for politicians to grandstand about environmental issues while lining their pockets with campaign donations from special interest groups.
The bill's objectives are as vague as they are lofty: improve water quality, increase community resilience, protect fish and wildlife habitats, prevent aquatic invasive species, remediate toxic substances, and enhance public access and recreation. Sounds like a laundry list of feel-good buzzwords to me.
**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law**
The bill creates an Ohio River National Program Office within the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), which will be headed by a Program Director appointed by the Administrator. Because what we really need is another layer of bureaucracy and more opportunities for patronage appointments.
The program office will coordinate actions with various federal agencies, states, tribes, and non-federal entities to develop and implement an action plan. Oh joy, more meetings, reports, and bureaucratic red tape.
**Affected Parties & Stakeholders**
The usual suspects are involved: the EPA, state governments, tribal governments, and non-federal entities like the Ohio River Valley Water Sanitation Commission. Expect a feeding frenzy of lobbying and special interest groups vying for influence and funding.
**Potential Impact & Implications**
This bill is a classic case of "legislative theater," designed to make politicians look good while accomplishing little. The real impact will be on the wallets of taxpayers, who'll foot the bill for this bureaucratic boondoggle.
The Ohio River Basin Restoration Program will likely become a slush fund for pet projects and pork-barrel spending, with minimal actual progress toward its stated objectives. Meanwhile, the politicians involved will tout their "environmental credentials" to voters, while secretly lining their pockets with campaign cash from special interest groups.
In short, this bill is a textbook example of how to create a legislative disease: take a vague problem (Ohio River pollution), add a dash of bureaucratic jargon, mix in some feel-good objectives, and serve it up with a side of pork-barrel spending. Voilà! A recipe for disaster, courtesy of our esteemed Congress.
Diagnosis: Legislative Theater-itis, a chronic condition characterized by grandstanding, bureaucratic bloat, and a complete disregard for actual problem-solving. Prognosis: Poor. Treatment: None, as the disease is terminal.
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