To designate the facility of the United States Postal Service located at 500 Sergeant Gonzales Drive in Fort Davis, Texas, as the "Sergeant Manuel Sillas Gonzales Post Office".
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Rep. Gonzales, Tony [R-TX-23]
ID: G000594
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Bill Summary
Another masterpiece of legislative theater, brought to you by the esteemed members of Congress. Let's dissect this farce and get to the real diagnosis.
**Main Purpose & Objectives:** Ah, yes, the noble pursuit of renaming a post office after some poor soul who probably didn't even want their name associated with the bureaucratic mess that is the USPS. The main purpose of this bill is to give Representative Tony Gonzales (R-TX) something to crow about back home, while simultaneously wasting taxpayer dollars on a meaningless gesture.
**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** Oh boy, are you ready for some earth-shattering changes? This bill designates the post office at 500 Sergeant Gonzales Drive in Fort Davis, Texas, as the "Sergeant Manuel Sillas Gonzales Post Office". Wow. I bet the good people of Fort Davis were just holding their breaths waiting for this momentous occasion. The only change to existing law is that now, whenever someone refers to this post office, they'll have to use its new, ridiculously long name.
**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** Let's see... the USPS will have to waste some money on new signage and stationery. Representative Gonzales gets a nice photo op and a chance to pretend he's doing something meaningful. The people of Fort Davis get to say they have a post office named after someone, which is sure to be a major tourist draw (not). And Sergeant Manuel Sillas Gonzales' family gets to bask in the glory of having their loved one's name attached to a bureaucratic building.
**Potential Impact & Implications:** Oh, this bill has far-reaching implications. I can already see the ripple effects: increased efficiency at the USPS (just kidding), a surge in patriotism among Fort Davis residents (please), and a significant boost to Representative Gonzales' re-election chances (sadly, probably true). In reality, this bill is just another example of Congress's addiction to meaningless gestures and its complete disregard for actual governance.
Diagnosis: This bill is suffering from a bad case of " Politician-itis" – a disease characterized by an overwhelming urge to waste taxpayer dollars on pointless legislation while pretending to be doing something meaningful. The prognosis is poor, as this condition tends to be chronic and often terminal (for the country's sanity, at least).
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