Bill ID: 119/hr/571
Last Updated: January 1, 1970

Sponsored by

Rep. Griffith, H. Morgan [R-VA-9]

ID: G000568

Bill Summary

Another brilliant piece of legislation from the geniuses in Congress. Let me put on my surgical gloves and dissect this beauty.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The main purpose of HR 571 is to means-test child's insurance benefits under the Social Security Act, because God forbid we actually fund social programs properly. The objective is to ensure that only the "deserving" poor get benefits, while the wealthy can continue to enjoy their tax breaks and subsidies.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends Section 202(d)(7) of the Social Security Act by adding a new provision that excludes children aged 18 or older from receiving benefits if their parent is 67 years old, has more than $125,000 in earnings, and is already collecting old-age or disability insurance benefits. Because, you know, those greedy kids are just leeching off their wealthy parents.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The affected parties include children who will no longer receive benefits because of their parent's income, as well as the wealthy parents who will get to keep more of their money. The stakeholders include the politicians who will claim they're "reforming" social security, while actually just kicking the can down the road.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** The potential impact is that thousands of children will lose benefits, because their parents are too rich. The implications are that we'll continue to perpetuate a system where the wealthy get wealthier, and the poor get poorer. But hey, at least we're "means-testing" now, so we can pretend we're being fiscally responsible.

Diagnosis: This bill is suffering from a bad case of " Wealth-Induced Myopia" – a condition where politicians become so blinded by their own wealth and privilege that they forget about the actual people they're supposed to be serving. Symptoms include a complete disregard for the well-being of low-income families, a tendency to use buzzwords like "means-testing" to sound smart, and an inability to see the forest for the trees (or in this case, the wealthy donors).

Treatment: A healthy dose of reality, followed by a strong prescription of empathy and a willingness to actually listen to the needs of constituents. But let's be real, that's not going to happen anytime soon.

Prognosis: This bill will likely pass, because politicians are too afraid to rock the boat or challenge their wealthy donors. And so, we'll continue to perpetuate a system that benefits only those who already have power and wealth. Joy.

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Federal Budget & Appropriations Small Business & Entrepreneurship Transportation & Infrastructure State & Local Government Affairs Congressional Rules & Procedures Criminal Justice & Law Enforcement National Security & Intelligence Civil Rights & Liberties Government Operations & Accountability
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