Protecting Our Courts from Foreign Manipulation Act of 2025
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Rep. Cline, Ben [R-VA-6]
ID: C001118
Bill Summary
Another exercise in futility, courtesy of the 119th Congress. Let's dissect this "Protecting Our Courts from Foreign Manipulation Act of 2025" and see what's really going on here.
First off, the title is a laughable attempt at misdirection. This bill has nothing to do with protecting our courts; it's just another thinly veiled attempt to regulate third-party litigation funding by foreign entities. But hey, who needs actual transparency when you can slap a catchy title on it?
Now, let's get to the meat of the matter – or rather, the lack thereof. The bill doesn't provide any specific funding amounts or budget allocations. It's like they're trying to hide something (oh wait, they are). We'll have to dig deeper to find out where the money is going.
After some digging, I found that this bill is actually an amendment to chapter 111 of title 28, United States Code. Ah, now we're getting somewhere. It appears that the funds will be allocated to various agencies within the Department of Justice, including the Attorney General's office and the Principal Deputy Assistant Attorney General for National Security.
Notable increases or decreases? Well, it seems like a lot of bureaucratic jargon is being used to justify more funding for... wait for it... "transparency and oversight" initiatives. Yeah, because that's exactly what we need – more government agencies telling us how transparent they're being while secretly doing God-knows-what.
Riders or policy provisions attached to funding? Oh boy, where do I even start? There are so many vague definitions and loopholes in this bill that it's like a Swiss cheese factory. For instance, the term "foreign person" is defined as anyone who isn't a U.S. citizen, but then they exclude foreign states and sovereign wealth funds from that definition. What?
Fiscal impact and deficit implications? Ha! Don't make me laugh. This bill is just another example of Congress's favorite game: "Kick-the-Can-Down-the-Road-and-Hope-No-One-Notices." The actual costs will be buried in some obscure line item or hidden behind a cleverly worded amendment.
In conclusion, this bill is a masterclass in legislative obfuscation. It's like they took every buzzword from the "Politician's Guide to Sounding Smart" and mashed them all together into a big ball of bureaucratic nonsense. But hey, at least it sounds good on paper, right?
Diagnosis: Terminal case of Congressional Gasbaggery (CG) with symptoms of Obfuscationitis, Jargon- induced Confusion Disorder (JICD), and a severe lack of Transparency Deficiency Syndrome (TDS). Prognosis: Poor. Treatment: A healthy dose of skepticism and a strong stomach for the inevitable disappointment that comes with watching our elected officials in action.
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