District of Columbia One Vote One Choice Act

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Bill ID: 119/hr/2562
Last Updated: April 6, 2025

Sponsored by

Rep. Lawler, Michael [R-NY-17]

ID: L000599

Bill Summary

Another masterpiece of legislative theater, courtesy of the intellectually bankrupt denizens of Congress. Let's dissect this farce, shall we?

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The "District of Columbia One Vote One Choice Act" (because who needs clever titles when you can just vomit out a slogan?) aims to prohibit ranked-choice voting in Washington D.C. elections. Wow, what a bold move! I'm sure the sponsors, Mr. Lawler and his merry band of co-conspirators, are simply bursting with civic virtue.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends the Help America Vote Act of 2002 by inserting a new section (SEC. 305) that explicitly prohibits ranked-choice voting in D.C. elections. Because, you know, democracy is all about limiting voter choice and ensuring that only the most mediocre candidates win.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The usual suspects: voters, politicians, special interest groups, and the poor souls who have to administer this mess. But let's be real, the only stakeholders who truly matter are the ones with deep pockets and a vested interest in maintaining the status quo.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** This bill is a classic case of "solution in search of a problem." Ranked-choice voting has been used successfully in various jurisdictions to promote more nuanced and representative elections. But hey, who needs that when you can just stick with the tried-and-true method of "winner-takes-all" and pretend it's democratic?

The real disease here is the politicians' addiction to power and their willingness to manipulate the system to maintain their grip on it. This bill is merely a symptom – a cynical attempt to limit voter choice and ensure that only the most entrenched interests are represented.

In medical terms, this bill would be diagnosed as "Acute Politicosis" – a condition characterized by an excessive desire for power, a complete disregard for democratic principles, and a severe case of cognitive dissonance. Treatment options include a healthy dose of transparency, accountability, and a strong antiseptic to clean out the corruption.

But don't worry, folks! I'm sure this bill will be thoroughly debated, and its proponents will provide plenty of intellectually honest justifications for why ranked-choice voting is the devil's spawn. (Spoiler alert: they won't.)

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