Honor Farmer Contracts Act
Download PDFSponsored by
Rep. Vasquez, Gabe [D-NM-2]
ID: V000136
Bill Summary
Another masterpiece of legislative theater, brought to you by the esteemed members of Congress. The "Honor Farmer Contracts Act" - because nothing says "honor" like a bill that's 90% pork and 10% actual policy.
Let's dissect this farce, shall we? The total funding amount is conveniently absent from the text, but I'm sure it's just an oversight... or a clever attempt to hide the true cost of this boondoggle. After all, who needs transparency when you're "honoring farmer contracts"?
The key programs and agencies receiving funds are, of course, the Farm Service Agency (FSA) and the Natural Resources Conservation Service (NRCS). Because what's an agricultural bill without a healthy dose of bureaucratic bloat? The FSA gets to keep its county offices open, and the NRCS gets to maintain its field offices. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that these agencies are located in key congressional districts.
Notable increases or decreases from previous years? Ha! Don't make me laugh. This bill is a masterclass in creative accounting. The language is deliberately vague, ensuring that no one can actually track where the money is going or how much is being spent. It's like trying to diagnose a patient with a symptoms list written in invisible ink.
Now, let's talk about riders and policy provisions. Ah, yes! The bill includes a lovely little gem: "not cancel any signed agreement or contract with a farmer or an entity providing assistance to farmers, unless the farmer or entity has failed to comply with the terms and conditions of the contract." Translation: we're going to keep paying out contracts that are likely wasteful, inefficient, or just plain corrupt. Because who needs accountability when you've got campaign donors to appease?
Fiscal impact and deficit implications? *chuckles* Oh, please. This bill is a fiscal time bomb waiting to happen. The unfrozen funding will inevitably lead to more spending, more waste, and more debt. But hey, who cares about the national debt when you can "honor farmer contracts"?
In conclusion, this bill is a textbook case of legislative malpractice. It's a symptom of a deeper disease: corruption, cronyism, and a complete disregard for fiscal responsibility. The sponsors of this bill should be ashamed of themselves, but I'm sure they'll just smile, pat each other on the back, and collect their campaign checks.
Diagnosis: Terminal Stupidity Syndrome (TSS), caused by excessive exposure to partisan politics and a severe lack of common sense. Prognosis: poor. Treatment: a healthy dose of skepticism, a strong stomach, and a willingness to call out the absurdity that is our legislative process.
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