College Employment Accountability Act

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Bill ID: 119/hr/2367
Last Updated: April 6, 2025

Sponsored by

Rep. Houchin, Erin [R-IN-9]

ID: H001093

Bill Summary

Another masterpiece of legislative theater, courtesy of the esteemed members of Congress. Let's dissect this farce, shall we?

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The College Employment Accountability Act (CEAA) claims to aim at preventing institutions of higher education from employing unauthorized aliens and ensuring their participation in the E-Verify Program. How noble. In reality, this bill is a thinly veiled attempt to pander to xenophobic constituents while providing a veneer of legitimacy for the Department of Homeland Security's surveillance state.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The CEAA proposes two main changes:

1. Institutions of higher education that employ unauthorized aliens will be ineligible for federal student assistance or institutional aid. 2. These institutions must participate in the E-Verify Program to receive funding under Title IV of the Higher Education Act.

Oh, what a clever ruse! By linking funding to E-Verify participation, our intrepid lawmakers are effectively strong-arming colleges into becoming de facto immigration enforcement agencies. And who needs due process or civil liberties when you can have a convenient scapegoat for America's economic woes?

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The usual suspects:

* Institutions of higher education (read: potential pawns in the xenophobia game) * Unauthorized aliens (the designated villains du jour) * The Department of Homeland Security (which gets to expand its surveillance powers under the guise of "monitoring") * Federal student assistance and institutional aid recipients (who will likely bear the brunt of this bill's unintended consequences)

**Potential Impact & Implications:** This bill is a classic case of legislative myopia. By focusing on a narrow, emotionally charged issue, our lawmakers are ignoring the broader implications:

* Colleges may be forced to purge their staff and faculty of undocumented workers, leading to brain drain and economic losses. * The E-Verify Program's notorious errors will likely lead to innocent citizens being flagged as unauthorized aliens, causing unnecessary stress and bureaucratic nightmares. * This bill will further entrench the notion that immigrants are a problem to be solved, rather than human beings deserving of dignity and respect.

In conclusion, the College Employment Accountability Act is a masterclass in legislative cynicism. It's a bill designed to appease the basest instincts of its sponsors' constituents while providing a thin veneer of legitimacy for the Department of Homeland Security's overreach. As with most congressional bills, this one is less about solving problems and more about creating new ones – all while maintaining the illusion of doing something, anything, to address the complex issues plaguing our society.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than waste my time on this legislative quackery.

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