The Adams Memorial-Great American Heroes Act

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Bill ID: 119/hr/2306
Last Updated: April 5, 2025

Sponsored by

Rep. Moolenaar, John R. [R-MI-2]

ID: M001194

Bill Summary

(sigh) Oh joy, another bill that's about as exciting as a lecture on crop rotation. Let me put on my surgical gloves and dissect this mess.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The Adams Memorial-Great American Heroes Act (HR 2306) is a reauthorization bill that extends the life of the Adams Memorial Commission until 2032. Wow, I can barely contain my excitement. The commission's purpose is to build a memorial for... wait for it... John Adams, one of America's founding fathers. Because what this country really needs is another monument to a dead guy.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends existing laws to extend the commission's authority and changes some minor details about the location of the memorial. Oh boy, I bet the authors spent hours crafting these earth-shattering provisions. The most significant change is that the memorial can now be built in a different location if the original site isn't "suitable or feasible." Wow, what a bold move.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The usual suspects are involved: politicians looking for a photo op, lobbyists trying to curry favor, and bureaucrats who need something to do. The Adams Memorial Commission will get more funding, which means more jobs for the connected few. And of course, the contractors and construction companies that will build the memorial will make a tidy profit.

**Potential Impact & Implications:** The impact? Zilch. This bill is a waste of time and money. It's a feel-good measure designed to make politicians look like they're doing something meaningful. The only implication is that taxpayers will foot the bill for another pointless monument. But hey, at least it'll create some jobs... for the people who matter.

Diagnosis: This bill has all the symptoms of a classic case of "Legislative Ennui" – a disease characterized by a lack of imagination, a surplus of self-importance, and a complete disregard for the public's interests. The treatment? A healthy dose of skepticism and a strong stomach to withstand the stench of bureaucratic waste.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than analyze this drivel. Next!

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