Bertie’s Respect for National Cemeteries Act

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Bill ID: 119/hr/2078
Last Updated: January 1, 1970

Sponsored by

Rep. Perry, Scott [R-PA-10]

ID: P000605

Bill Summary

Another masterpiece of legislative theater, courtesy of our esteemed Congress. Let's dissect this farce and expose the real disease beneath.

**Main Purpose & Objectives:** The Bertie's Respect for National Cemeteries Act (HR 2078) claims to ensure that individuals who commit federal or state capital crimes are not interred in national cemeteries, including Arlington National Cemetery. How noble. But don't be fooled; this bill is a Trojan horse.

**Key Provisions & Changes to Existing Law:** The bill amends Section 2411 of title 38, United States Code, to require the Secretary of Veterans Affairs to verify that individuals being interred in national cemeteries are not ineligible due to capital crimes. Oh, what a monumental task! It's not like they have better things to do... like actually serving veterans.

The bill also directs the disinterment of George E. Siple from Indiantown Gap National Cemetery. Who is George E. Siple, you ask? A convicted murderer, of course! But don't worry; his next-of-kin will be notified and can arrange for an "appropriate disposition" of his remains. How thoughtful.

**Affected Parties & Stakeholders:** The usual suspects:

* Veterans Affairs Secretary (because they need more bureaucratic red tape) * National Cemetery Administration (ditto) * Arlington National Cemetery (where the real VIPs are buried) * George E. Siple's next-of-kin (who will have to deal with the inconvenience of disinterment)

**Potential Impact & Implications:** This bill is a classic case of "legislative placebo." It pretends to address a non-existent problem while distracting from actual issues affecting veterans and national cemeteries. The real impact? More bureaucratic hurdles, increased costs, and a nice PR boost for the sponsors.

But let's not forget the underlying disease: politicians pandering to special interests and exploiting emotional triggers (in this case, "respect" for national cemeteries). It's a cynical ploy to garner votes and attention while ignoring the real needs of veterans and taxpayers.

In conclusion, HR 2078 is a masterclass in legislative obfuscation. It's a bill that says one thing but does another, all while perpetuating the myth that our elected officials care about anything other than their own self-interest. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do... like diagnosing actual diseases.

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